


The Devil You Know

by truerowdyvoid



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Choking, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Canon, Rough Sex, Safe Sane and Consensual, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 16:58:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11650857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truerowdyvoid/pseuds/truerowdyvoid
Summary: After the final assault on the Reapers, Commander Shepard spent a lot of time in recovery from her injuries. She feels a bit lost, without a goal. Now, as the Normandy crew takes some time off, her Prothean boyfriend reminds her that it's okay to let someone else take the reins for once.





	The Devil You Know

**Author's Note:**

> Remember how I said I'd gotten it out of my system and there wasn't going to be more FemShep/Javik fic?
> 
> There's, uh..... there's more FemShep/Javik fic.

He sighed and rested an arm around her shoulders.

 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re upset about?”

 

“I wish people would stop staring.” Even with her sunglasses and her new haircut, even though they were on a  _ vacation,  _ for God’s sake, people still recognized her as Commander Shepard. And they recognized her boyfriend as something that very much did not belong. He stuck out like a sore thumb - this place wasn’t highly populated by other species, and even if it were, he was a Prothean. People weren’t accustomed to that.

 

“Let them stare. It says more about them than it does about us.” Seeing her roll her eyes at that, he conceded. “I know, I don’t like it either.”

 

They didn’t say any more on the matter. Not much needed to be said. It had gotten to the point where if one of them was feeling under the weather, the other didn’t bother asking many questions, because the answer was generally the same. Five months post-victory, three months after her release from the hospital, they both felt like they were drowning. People like them weren’t made for inactivity. And yet here they were, trying their best to relax on a beach. The crew had hoped the change of scenery would be good for everyone, and it was, it just couldn’t meet expectations. There was no quick fix, and besides, looking at the boats loose in the ocean reminded her of how she felt she was lost adrift in the world. Javik had echoed those feelings, whenever they talked about it. She remembered how he’d said he looked forward to seeing what peace looked like. She knew he was disappointed. How do you fully appreciate the world when your whole life, you’ve only seen it down the barrel of a gun? How do you rid yourself of that tunnel-vision?

 

She’d worried that once the war was over, he wouldn’t want a relationship with her anymore. It was silly, she realized now. Two people who’d been through the thick of it were bound, in a way, and even if they weren’t, he  _ liked  _ her, and that was something that took getting used to. He liked her enough to stay by her side during her recovery, and to let himself relax around her. He liked her enough that, whenever she started crying out of nowhere (and she did frequently), he didn’t try to sugarcoat what she’d been through, or tell her that it would get better when in reality, nobody knew if it would. He liked her enough to just hold her until the sobbing subsided, nuzzling into her hair and doing his best to send her positive memories through touch.

 

“Shepard?”

 

“Yeah, sorry.”

 

“Our train is here.”

 

Once they’d boarded, Shepard nestled herself against her boyfriend. It was a good day to be lazy, all sunny with the warmth beating down on them. But it was a dry heat, which was nice. It just made her want to go to sleep. Or be naked.

 

Naked. They hadn’t had sex since before the final attack. Prior to the battle, she wouldn’t have believed anyone who told her they could cohabitate for three months without having sex. But it just never felt like the right time, and her health was poor, and they were both so  _ sad _ all the time. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she did, and it might even make her feel better, but that pressure of knowing it was something she should be doing was all the more reason to have anxieties around it.

 

Maybe today was a good day to change that.

 

She was sweating, snuggled against him like this, but she wanted to be touched. Her hand rested on his thigh, fiddling with the hem of his shorts, tugging them up a little to get at the smooth blue-green skin beneath. Glancing up, she saw he was giving her a questioning look, as if to ask what was going on. With a sleepy smile, she simply mouthed “I love you” and laid her head down in his lap, closing her eyes to ignore the people gawking at them. With a snort of amusement, he put an arm on her waist, tickling that little band of skin exposed by her crop top. With a giggle, Shepard made her choice. Today was the day.

 

As they got off the shuttle at the hotel, Javik squeezed her side again, and she allowed the memory he was trying to share into her head. 

 

_ Throwing me against the wall, fumbling hands unbuttoning my pants as he kisses down my chest and stomach, sweat dripping down my thighs- _

 

She froze at the thought of it, shivering a little in the August heat. And again, that inquiring glance. Shepard nodded at him.  _ Yes. That’s what’s going on here. Good job at figuring it out. _ He flashed her a toothy grin, kissing her forehead before they headed inside.

 

As soon as they were in their room, he pitched her to the bed, taking joy in the way she squealed. And then he was there, pinning her down by her hands, squeezing them so hard it almost hurt. His lips collided messily with hers, and she wriggled her arms out of his grasp to hug him close, fingers slipping between the hard plates lining his back. He gave a breathy laugh at that.

 

“Convenient that I’m already shirtless.”

 

“Wish I could say the same.”

 

Smirking, he yanked off her top, admiring her breasts for just a moment before diving in with teeth and tongue. Amber eyes locked with hers, he licked up the curve of her cleavage.

 

“Do I taste like saltwater?” she asked.

 

“And sweat. And sex,” he murmured against her skin. Those narrow, pointed teeth were dangerously close to her nipple, nipping as lightly as he could muster. She shuddered, digging her nails into the back of his neck. “Dammit, Shepard,” he breathed.

 

“Too much?” 

 

“Not enough. Scratch me harder.” She did, and he purred something in Prothean. It sent chills down her spine, the way he groaned and arched into her as she dug in with as much strength as she could call up. It was a wonder his skin didn’t break, she thought, kissing his forehead as his nails trailed off the sides of his neck.

 

“I’ve missed this.”

 

“I have too, love. Though I know you haven’t been depriving yourself the way you’ve been depriving me…” He kissed her once more and slid a hand up her thigh to toy with the waistband of her swim bottoms. “It was torturous, coming home and smelling how turned on you were, but not knowing whether I should do anything about it.”

 

It had never occurred to her that he’d be able to sense when she’d gotten off. She felt a little bad about it, a little embarrassed. It was disconcerting not being able to keep many secrets from him. But also comforting, in a way.

 

“I’m sorry, it just never felt like the right time.”

 

“Don’t worry, I understand.” He nuzzled against her neck.

 

“I’ll make it up to you. You get to be in charge this time. However you want it.”

 

He froze against her, caught off guard. She’d always been very vocal about what she wanted in bed, even if what she wanted was to be submissive. But it could be fun to let someone else do the work for once, right? He knew what she liked. He could guess at her limits, and if he didn’t, they could communicate to some extent without words, if she couldn’t speak. And, more than she liked to admit, it was very tempting to press those limits. To submit. 

 

Javik idly squeezed her breast, thinking it over.

 

“Really now?” he asked with a smirk. “You’re not going to turn the tables on me?”

 

“Let’s put it this way: we’ve both been starving for far too long. I think we both want the same thing: me getting fucked, hard. Go for that and whatever happens happens.”

 

“I can live with that,” he admitted, kissing her once more. “And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I know something else you want.” His strong, sure hands drifted up her chest, closed around her throat. She immediately drew in a deep breath, and felt her windpipe vibrate against his palm. Thumbs ran over her sex-flushed lips, hooking one corner down. Javik stared down at her, amber eyes fixated on hers, his pupils so dilated from arousal that it was almost hard to tell they were doubled. It was an oddly humanizing detail.

 

“You are the most precious thing I have,” he murmured. “And I am going to have you in any way I want.”

 

Shepard’s eyelids fluttered, blinking him in and out of view, and she let her head fall back, feeling the clean line of her arched backbone up her neck. It was a good stretch that only deepened when he pressed his lips slowly, clumsily to hers. Her mouth craved more, to be breached by his tongue, with his fingers, but instead he trailed down to her jaw, squeezing the sides of her neck ever so gently. If only if could be harder. She was suddenly hit with the desire to have  _ everything _ \- her cunt and mouth filled with him, legs forced apart, hands clenched across her throat, drawing her ever closer to the oblivion she flirted with so often. There was no one she could trust more with this want, and as they kissed, she nudged at the edge of his consciousness, doing her best to communicate nonverbally what she wanted - after all, her breath was shallow, and her throat hummed wordlessly below his hand.

 

He paused kissing her, so frenzied that he, too, was speechless. For all his big talk, a cloud of uncertainty fogged between them.

 

_ Are you sure? _

 

_ Are you certain? _

 

_ Tell me if it hurts, love. _

 

Yes, yes, of course she would tell him if it was too much, she told him everything. His hips rolled against hers, the head of his cock grinding into her clit. 

 

“Ah-” 

 

It was a small noise, from somewhere deep in her chest that she didn’t know she had. But Javik took notice, and kept up the motions, hands drifting around the back of her neck so just his thumbs lay across her throat. Shepard whimpered, pressing her eyes shut.

 

“Let me hear you.” He licked up from the center of her collarbone, hot and taunting, and she felt tears spring to her eyes. “If you like it, prove it to me. Let me hear you.”

 

“ _ Javik _ , “ she exhaled. Compared to his breath on her tender skin, the tears felt like ice rolling down her face. He pressed into her cunt,  _ hard _ , as he lapped them from her cheeks. A low moan rose from her core as he fucked into her, ridiculously slow. The man was patient, far more so than she was, and he would take his time if it meant hearing her honey-sweet sighs for longer.

 

“You made me wait so long, dear.” Lips brushing her earlobe, teeth catching on cartilage. “Don’t you think it’s only fair if I do the same to you?”

 

“Yes, sir,” she groaned, and she swore she felt his cock twitch inside her. His eyes closed and he shuddered a little. He’d never confessed to this being a kink of his, but deep down, she’d known. Something about the teasing way he started calling her “ma’am” once they’d slept together, playing it off as a joke he could only make now that they were closer. Something about the lilting tone in which he’d said “commander” as he kissed up her thighs one night, her uniform top still on. Not to speak of the looks he’d given her when she was in full military dress. She’d say he were undressing her with his eyes, had it not been clear how much he liked those clothes on.

 

“If I give you an order,” he said slowly, “you must follow it without hesitation. Understand?”

 

“Yes…”

 

Fangs across her jaw as he hissed back to her,

 

“Yes  _ what _ ?”

 

“ _ Yes sir.” _

 

He withdrew from her abruptly, and she whined. 

 

“On your knees.”

 

Shepard rolled over, positioning herself on all fours. Heavy hands on her shoulders reminded her to stay in place as he rutted against her ass. The armored plating on his torso was smooth  and warm like hot stones on her back when he leaned over her, groaning softly.

 

“You smell so good. I love how you smell when you’re turned on.” One hand crept around to her mouth, and she took a finger between her lips, sucking and nibbling. This was rewarded by his presence inside her once again, thick and hard. She couldn’t help but lean back into him, and he noticed. Tightening a grip on her hair, he told her, “Stay still while I fuck you. I want to see how long you can last.”

 

“Mm…” she mumbled around his finger. It was as though all the heat in her body had pooled between her legs, leaving the rest of her cold and adrift in waves of pleasure each time he entered her. The hand removed from her mouth, stroking the delicate skin of her throat a few times before clamping down. “Ffff…”

 

“Louder.”

 

“ _ Fuck _ .”

 

He sped up, yanking harder at her hair. Yes, this was what she wanted - to surrender control, just for a few moments, to someone she could trust. Someone who would take charge to dominate her while holding her close all the while. His weight was comfortable pressing down on her, like the pressure of water at the bottom of a pool. Her eyes were closed, but she knew that if she opened them, her vision would be fuzzy. From the choking or the pleasure, she wasn’t sure. Likely both. 

 

She couldn’t even moan anymore, and the tears wouldn’t come to her eyes while her thighs clenched and shivered, her only release building low in her gut. As she came, she realized she’d bottomed out emotionally as well, for once not feeling a goddamn thing. And it was divine.

 

“That’s my girl.” He kissed her nape, a surprisingly tender gesture. He’d felt her cum, twitching and pulsing around him, and she knew he liked the feeling of it. “Hold on just a little longer for me.” He moved his one hand to cup her cheek, and she inhaled hard, the world coming back into focus with the allowance of breath. As her upper body remembered what air felt like, it was as though everything pooled between her legs rushed to her head, and the tears began flowing. He must have felt them on his hand, because there was a quiet request in her head, asking for affirmation that she was okay.

 

“Yes, yes,  _ yes _ ,” she sighed, muscles feeling liquid and loose as she relaxed beneath him. Her moans pushed him over the edge, and she felt him cum inside her. It was such an intimate act, she thought. An act of confidence and trust. He stilled for a few moments before finally pulling out, suddenly silent. Shepard collapsed to the mattress, whimpering softly. She didn’t even know she could make such sweet sounds, and they were coming from her lungs without her permission. Javik laid down beside her, holding her tight, kissing her hair. He’d confessed once that he loved her hair, it was a source of endless fascination, and he was always playing with it even without the context of sex. It made her happy to know he liked this about her, this trait that made her distinctly human. 

 

“My love, you were so good, I wish you could see and feel how amazing you are.” He nuzzled against her forehead. “You’re alright? It wasn’t too much?”

 

“I’m fine,” she smiled through tears. “I’m a little overwhelmed. But in a good way.”

 

“Is there anything you need? Anything you want?”

 

“Just hold me.”

 

It was perhaps strange, that she took such comfort in the familiarity of this scene. Sweaty, shaking, subspace bliss was not something people usually associated with the comfort of the past. But it felt like a big step in getting back to their old life. The life aboard the Normandy she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss. Was it wrong to seek consolation from something so filthy, she wondered? Wrapped in his embrace, she decided it didn’t matter. She knew that this was something she wanted, because it was something she knew. There was certainty in this.   


 

Everything else could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


End file.
